07 June 2010

Mommy Dearest

My mom's coming to visit me for a few days and I can't wait! To me, my parents = home. I am happiest and most comfortable with them. When I was 3 or 4, they moved to the States from India. I didn't go with them as they wanted to get settled first. Then due to visa conflicts, I didn't join them until years later, when I was almost 10. Maybe because of that separation, I'm abnormally close to them and it's very hard for me to be away from them. The first time I left home was last July when I moved to Miami. I thought I would be jumping with joy that I finally got what I wanted: freedom! To my surprise, I was calling them 4-5 times a day. I felt very incomplete and lonely. I had not known loneliness until I moved out of my parents' house. Ofcourse, I will always be their daughter and that will never change. But knowing that whenever I go home now, it is only to visit and I am, technically, only a guest is a thought that kills me whenever I'm reminded of it. It will never again be the same. Most people know that I never cry. I cried twice last year. Once was when Mom came to visit me in Miami; I cried when she left. So as much as I love having her around, it's infinitely harder when it's time for her to leave. Anyway, for now I will just enjoy her visit and not dwell on her leaving. So, this weekend, I will have two of my most favorite things with me: Mom and Mom's food!

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